


Jefferson and Liberty

by WeeklyReportWithJamesCheetham



Category: 18th Century CE RPF, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: An hour and a half of solid journalism, Callender would be proud of me, I am so sorry, Reincarnate au, This was funnier in my head, badam tsss, crack writing, dont take this seriously, he wants the statue to be inside him, here have some jiberty, historical appearences, jefferson doesnt want to be inside the statue, jiberty, nvm, since i cant write anything else, wait thats not a good thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 09:33:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14282040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeeklyReportWithJamesCheetham/pseuds/WeeklyReportWithJamesCheetham
Summary: Or, the one in which Jefferson confesses his love to Lady Liberty and it kinda /doesn't/ end well.Or maybe it does I don't even know anymore.





	Jefferson and Liberty

Jefferson was looking at the ground when it happened. At one moment, he was in his office in Virginia, staring at his computer. The next moment, he was at the feet of the statue of his dreams. She was beautiful. She was green. The former third president looked up to admire the face of the most beautiful statue he had ever seen.

Lady Liberty was towering over him, emitting what seemed to him as a soft glow in the sunset. She was the most marvelous statue he had ever seen in his life. After looking around and confirming that no one was there to watch him, he trotted towards the statue. After making it to her base, he froze. Doubt flickered across his face.

Was it a good idea to confess his love right now, at their first meeting?

Thomas looked up at the lady, who seemed to be staring down at him. “Madame Liberty.” he gently placed his hands on one of her feet. She had flawless toes, except for the few bits of dirt and for the few splatters of bird poop here and there. He slowly began to massage the statue’s foot, tracing her… erm… toes and feeling the smooth… copper? Iron? He honestly was unsure, but it didn’t matter to him anyway. “I… I have something to confess to you…” He looked up to find the lady glaring at him stonily. Get on with it, President Jefferson, she seemed to say. He cleared his throat and resumed the foot massage. “I… I love you. Day and night, I long to be by your side, to be with you, to be inside your doors…” he coughed, “And I cannot take it anymore, I… need you, and if I don’t have you, then I… You understand, right?” he looked up at her desperately, and he swore that her features had softened considerably. She must have accepted.

She must have accepted.

And he knew what that meant.

“Darling, Lady Liberty, my closest friend and Statue… How must I prove myself worthy?” he breathed, leaning forward so that he was an inch away from the statue. He, unfortunately, was unable to kiss the lady’s face, for while he was standing at an intimidating six feet two inches, the statue in front of him was at a whopping three hundred five feet. The man, therefore, concluded that he must make do with what he had. The red-haired man leaned closer and finally laid his lips on the filthy statue.

There was a flash, and suddenly he was very tall and very green. He found himself entwined against the statue. He shrieked in both shock and happiness, before resolving to kiss her deeply. She tasted like sweetened metal, and she was incredibly smooth to touch. After several long minutes, he finally broke off, gasped for air, and stroked the Lady’s beautiful face. “I will always love you, my dear,” he breathed. Then, to his slight surprise and horror, Liberty’s eyes shifted to meet his. He took a slight step back. “Oh my, I was not expecting that.” The statue opened her mouth and flashed him a smile. Her teeth were as green as the rest of her, and while it may have seemed slightly horrifying at the time, Our Favorite President was too caught up in the moment to realize this.

“I love you too, Mr. Jefferson. I loved you from the moment I set my eyes on you, for you are too beautiful for one to resist. I would attempt to memorialize you in stone, right here, by my side, but you know how New Yorkers are.” Her eyes twinkled. Jefferson stepped forwards once again and held the statue in his arms. “Don’t worry, Darling, I understand how you feel. I know about those… ah… long nights you had when you stared at those jpegs of me… it’s ok,” she added when the man started to blush. “I understand. In fact, I… erm… feel like doing something of that sort when I think of you. Please do not feel ashamed. Now, unfortunately, a policeman has arrived on the scene with the intent to intrude on our romance. Fortunately, my powers have allowed me to cast a glamor over your body to prevent them from seeing your real features. To him, you are a spotted cat. However, my powers will not last. Come visit me in New York someday. I will be waiting for you, Dearest.” There was another flash, and Jefferson found himself once again at his regular size, entwined around the lady’s leg. A policeman was walking towards him.

“Oh look! A cat! Now, what is it doing here?” Jefferson, who knew better than to talk to the man while posing to be a cat, hissed at him and ran for his life. He ran for a while, and then the next thing he knew--

\-- he was back in his office, staring at his computer, looking around horrified. He knew that he was not insane; the doctor had said as much a week ago, but this was getting out of hand. He pushed himself off of his seat and stumbled to the door. His next destination was to a trusty friend, who understood him better than anyone else and who always offered the best advice.

Bonus:

Unfortunately, Madison was nowhere to be seen, so Jefferson had to talk to Monroe instead.  
…  
The latter jumped five feet into the air, which was a feat upon itself. “You WHAT?!” he shrieked. Jefferson, embarrassed and equally horrified, threw his hands into the air.

“I don’t know why I did it, I just did!” he cried. “I’m terrified! What is this statue doing?! How does she know-- How did she turn me into a tall statue? How did she even move, for Christ’s sake!” Monroe started clawing at his face.

“Oh my god… oh, my god… at least that didn’t escalate or anything… Wait, what did she know?” he added, looking at the man intently. Jefferson felt his face heat up.

“Um… nothing.” Monroe continued to stare at him, and Jefferson sort of gave up afterward.

“Ok! Fine! I… um… I sorta do… like to um… look at postcards of her… and… um…” Jefferson was interrupted by a shriek of laughter. “Oh my god, please stop,” he grumbled as his companion cackled away.

“Never mind! I ship it! Go get with it you madman!” he guffawed. 

“James!” he scolded. Monroe wiped a few tears from his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Thomas,” the shorter man gasped, “It’s just that-- Good Lord, this is too good. I have to go, I’ll be right back.” The man strode to the door and pulled it open.

“Don’t tell anyone!” Jefferson called after his retreating back.

“Of course I won’t!” Monroe yelled back at him. Even so, he knew that he had heard the man snicker as he slammed the door behind him.

Far away in Boston, John Adams woke up to the sound of a ringing phone.

**Author's Note:**

> Whoops.


End file.
